This is a drawing I did back around 2002.  I wish I had a better/bigger scan of it.  I gave the picture away so there is no way for me to redo it.   I still haven’t taken any pictures since the end of August.  I do not know what is wrong with me.  I take the camera with me but I am just not seeing anything I want to take pictures of.  I have photographers block.

A lot has happened since I even hosted the Mr Entrecard Pageant.  I am no longer dating the guy that I was dating before.  We both decided we are better off as friends.  In fact last month when we were dating I helped him paint a room that he was putting up for rent.  He had some bites but everyone was being flaky.  So I finally said, “Why don’t I rent it from you?”  He liked the idea as well since I am already cool with his son and he knows I am not a flake. 

So I am moving there Sunday.  It is $250/mo for rent and utilities.  I can’t find a better deal anywhere.  It cuts a total of 1 hour off my daily commute time as well.  Yay!  So now I am sure instead of hearing stories about my boyfriend Derek you will be hearing stories about my roommate Derek.  LOL!

I have been going out a lot lately.  This time I am going to go out with a few people before I decide to get into a relationship with one of them.  I have been meeting some very very interesting people lately.  One guy is half Native American.  He owns a bunch of houses up here, teaches salsa dancing, scuba dives, does Native American bead work, plays guitar and drums, and does all kinds of other interesting things.  He played his guitar for me and sang.  Then he got me to join in.  It was fun. 

I also had a date with a woman who happens to know Derek.  We went to lunch yesterday and had a great time.  If anything I have a great new friend.  For those in my family that read this and did not realize I was bisexual…well, now you know.

I am talking to a few other people that seem interested in going out with me.  One of them happens to be a deputy district attorney who also has some interesting hobbies.  He wrestles (yes spandex wearing Hulk Hogan type wrestling) and he is also the coach for a local womens roller derby team. 

Another guy who is quite a bit older than me works in IT but also plays drums in a jazz/blues band.  The other day I was coming out of a coffee shop with my boss.  We passed a group of people and one of them looked familiar.  I couldn’t place it at the time but it turns out it was this guy.  I emailed him and asked.  Turns out he works about a block from me.

Speaking of work.  It is going really really well.  I had to make some changes to my program due to the way the economy is going.  Not as many people signing up for things right now.  I also got a few issues worked out when we met with the man who is going to design the booklet and other materials for it.  We were so on the same page about everything.  It didn’t hurt that he is a sweet piece of eye candy.   I had to force myself not to stare when were were in our meeting yesterday.  Turns out though that he is happily married to his beautiful wife and has beautiful children as well.  That doesn’t mean I won’t stare though.

I am sure there is more that I am missing here.  So much has been going on.  Oh!  I am also going to the Renfaire on Saturday if it doesn’t rain it out.  I am thinking that may get me back into the picture taking mode as well.  I always liked photographing the renfaire.  If not at least I get to see boobies in corsets.  You know that is why I go.

Yes folks it is the moment that you have been waiting for!  In some cases it is the moment you have been nagging me for.   Lets remind everyone what the winner is going to receive!

Links from Wisdom Hypnosis, The Realter, Lucent Dusk, Eyespi20, Travlin’ Show, My Reading Nook, and Inspire Emotion.

Ad spots from The Fitness Diva and Bad Evan.

An undetermined amount of credits from Amy Oops.  No I have no idea how many.  She just said she would “…throw in some ec credits.”  What?  You thought this was organized.  Hahahahahahahaha!  That is funny.

The best prize though will be the gloating rights you will receive.  I am sure that we will hear about quite a bit and within a couple of days want to smack the winner because his ego will be the size of Texas.

Before we announce the runners up and the winner I would like to thank everyone involved.  Debbie for starting us down and organizing this crazy trip.  The lovely judges for making the hard decisions.  The contestants for being such good sports.   You were all wonderful and I hope we do this every year.

Now on with the show!

The 2nd runner up and winner of well, a link from this blog entry is…

Aldon of Orient Lodge!

The 1st runner up who will also receive a link from this blog entry is…

Ken Armstrong!

And now for our winner.  It was a long and tough road.  May I have the envelope please?

The winner is…*opens envelope*

You are shitting me right?  He won?  Oh god we are never going to hear the end of this.

Ahem, the winner is…

Read the rest of this entry »

Ladies and Gentlemen we are back with the last two questions posed to our contestants.  I have decided to reveal the answers a bit early due to the fact that I am starting to spot a few sniper rifles in the audience. 

Here we go with question number seven!  Describe the talent would you have for pageant purposes?

Dolphin wrestling.

Is that what they are calling that now?

You know I shouldn’t be surprised what I find on the internet when I google “dolphin wrestling”.

I can do push-ups with my tongue.

Well, hello there! I would like a personal demonstration of said talent.  I have my own dressing room backstage so we will have plenty of privacy.

And I thought the dolphin thing was strange.

I would play ‘Popcorn’ on my face. You really gotta see it, it’s quite remarkable. As an encore, I would do a request – not ‘Stairway to Heaven’ though.

Freebird! *holds up lighter*

For those of you that do not know what Popcorn is watch the above video.  While not being played on someone’s face it is being played on Tesla Coils which is almost as cool.

Now we are on to the answers from BadEvan’s bonus question.  I will skip my own commentary and post what he had to say about the top answers he chose.

“If I were to send you flowers where would I…no, let me rephrase that. If I were to let you suck my tongue, would you be grateful?”

As an open minded and secure man, my answer is an unqualified, “Yes!” I do love tongues. And sucking. I love sucking, too.

Bad Evan: Somehow I knew you would be into the kink.

Yes I would. Don’t ask what your tongue can do for my tongue, ask what MY tongue can do for yours!

Bad Evan: I have high hopes for this…You better not let me down…Wisdom talks you know? (Wisdom here, NO SHE DOESN’T!)

Yes, I would be grateful, but I would have to say no… then sneak you to the closet and do it there.

Bad Evan: Listen babe, if we are going to the closet my tongue aint the only….

Thank you Bad Evan! 

Everyone stay tuned because the answer you have all been waiting for will be revealed tomorrow morning!!!!

Hello again everyone!  We are getting closer and closer to revealing the winner of the Mr Entrecard Pageant.  Aren’t you excited?!  Today we have the answers to the fifth and sixth questions posed to our contestants.

Question #5: Do you really wash hands after using the bathroom? When did you last floss? What is your hygiene quirk? 

I have put the answers in order of hygiene.

I wash my hands after using the bathroom and I floss every night. My hygiene quirk is manscaping once a week.

Very good sir!  I cannot stress enough the importance of manscaping.  The 70’s are over and so are the big hairy man bushes that were being sported back then.  The amount of hair stuck in teeth back then must have been insane.  I mean it is just common courtesty to trim.

Yes I do, even if I have only peed. I flossed last night. I am addicted to Baby Gold Bond powder.

So let me get this straight…you had to qualify that you wash your hands after peeing as well because most men don’t?  That is gross.  I mean aren’t you all in there holding your junk when you pee?  It makes me wonder how men men I have shook hands with or touched something just after them that were just handling their pee pees.  Then again a lot of men scratch their balls in public so I should not be surprised.

I won’t wash my hands in most public restrooms (they’re far too nasty). I floss a few times a week. You might think my quirk is that I shave my head, but the quirk is that sometimes, the drapes and the carpet match.

I don’t know if the first part of the answer is good or bad.  Let me tell you though sir that from what I understand women’s bathrooms are nastier then men’s.  I always wash my hands.  Now as for the last part of that question I must say I have a few questions.  Generally I would imagine that the drapes and the carpet should match.  Are you saying that on a normal undyed basis that they do not match?  Like you have blonde hair but because down under never sees the sun your are a brunette so you dye it?  Or do they sometimes not match because you are coloring one or the other?  Like you think to yourself, “I feel like having pink pubes today.”

And now a word from our sponsor.

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Often; 2005?; NO BACK HAIR ON THE CARPET!

THIS was a top answer?!  Good lord I wonder what the other contestants said?  I am imagining all kinds of horrible things like, “I floss with hairs pulled from my ass crack.”

On to questions number 6. Describe your choice of swimsuit (for competition)?

Well, if it were for actual swimming, I might prefer to swim in my birthday suit on a moonlit night on Cape Cod. However, in a competition, I would probably go with traditional boring old boxer swimsuit.

Simple, honest and sexy.  The skinny dipping by moonlight I am sure did not hurt you in the standings.

Blue trunks with dragons. Just tight enough to show off my tush.

For some reason I just love it when a man uses the word “tush”.   Especially when they are talking about themselves.  This is the kind of man that will do a funny strip tease dance for you when you are sad and make you laugh even when you don’t want to.

Well, a banana hammock illustrates one of my more prominent physical features but, as I am neither French or icky, I would wear a pair of low rise board shorts with a fun Hawaiian pattern.

Oh god don’t ever google “banana hammock” when looking for images to post.  My eyes! My eyes!  I give you points sir for being neither French nor icky.  The same points I awarded you alas have been taken away for even mentioning the banana hammock.

Bright yellow banana-hammock all the way! I don’t actually own one — but a guy can dream right? We might as well go the extra step and have some sort of special banana-shaped ummm, pocket out the front for my ‘business’ and some embroidered monkeys all over the place. Daquiries anyone?

Yes a daquiry would be good about now because I need to get drunk to wipe the images from my brain.  Excuse me while I go curl up in the fetal position over in the corner.

*rocks back and forth with eyes closed tightly*

We are back and it is time for more of what you have all been waiting for.  The answers to the 3rd and 4th Mr Entrecard question and answer session!  I have decided to be nice today and give you the results from a couple of the questions.  You should all thank my boyfriend for putting me in a good mood this morning.

Now on to the third question! What is your least likable trait and how does it benefit you?

I am not sure why there are only 2 answers listed but hey I am not the one counting the votes.  I am just a dancing monkey!

I can be an asshole…no, really. I work in construction and that trait comes in handy on the job sites when you need people to pay attention to you or safety regulations…much rather have someone not like me than have to tell their loved ones they died at work because they wouldn’t wear their hard hat.

Ooooh forceful.  I like a dominant male.  There is just something about them.  It seems like our ladies agree with that.  We don’t want a wimp we can walk all over.  Show us what a real man is like.  Tie me up, pull my hair and make me call you master!

I have an unbelievably bad temper which thankfully shows itself less and less as I get older. It has benefited me because I have lost it on two separate occasions when my (then) girlfriend was being ill-treated. People have been thrown down stairs, over tables etc on those occasions and, although I felt like a complete Wally afterwards, the results were satisfying in a silly, manly sort-of-a-way. 

Mmmmmhhhhmmmm.  While women may act mad that their man got into a fight secretly we are actually pleased that he stood up for our honor.  While most women today don’t need help standing up for themselves we like to know that we can count on our man in a pinch.  I bet the sex was really hot after those two incidents as well.  Hot, heaving, wet, nasty, rough and tumble sex.  Um…I think I need a short break.

And we are back after a short yet stimulating break!

Here is our fourth question.  If you knew could you try anything and not fail, what dream would you attempt?

Wow. Where to start? Anything?! While its tempting to be selfish here and think of personal wealth, fame or health and happiness for my family - I have to think that given the choice I would attempt to find a solution to world hunger. War and green energy are also tempting choices but I’ll stick with hunger - I mean, if we’re all going to be fighting, walking and polluted, we should all be well fed.

I suppose that is logical in a strange sort of way.  Our ladies seemed to think so because they chose it as one of the top three.  I guess all that walking and fighting we will be doing will burn off the calories from being well fed.  Now all we have to do is worry about the cancer from pollution.

I would cure cancer. Not to be overly magnanimous but can you imagine the chicks Id get?

Well, it appears that another one of our contestants has that covered!  Now we can play in toxic waste and the only thing we might get are super powers.  So now all I have to do is decide if I want to have the power to read minds or to stop time.  Apparently this contestant just wants the power to get chicks.  What baby chickens have to do with anything I am not sure.

Well, being the old idealist that I am, I would want to ‘teach the world to sing, in perfect harmony’. It seems as if so many of the problems of the world stem from this lack of harmony, this lack of caring for the people around us.

Everyone sing!

Wait, I almost lost my mind for a moment.  Put some deoderant on you hippy!